When we are pregnant we glow. We are a vessel of creation.
How awesome and a little terrifying.
We go through so many emotions during pregnancy, sometimes it’s hard to keep up . We often read books and watch movies about giving birth. We talk to their friends and relatives about the wishes and plans for childbirth and what kind of mother they hope they will become. We do all of this because we feel the need to connect to other women who have experienced this transformation, we look for guidance and support, we feel a little bit more vulnerable in our times of change. What happens when you talk to people around you, who are close to you, and they say things that are a little less than supportive? They might say things like, “You might want a natural birth, but when you feel those contractions you will change your mind, you will be begging for an epidural”, or “are you sure that’s what you want to do, you know they make drugs for that, right?”. That has happened to most of us, right?
It certainly happened to me. I was always left a little disappointed that the people I was reaching out to for support let me down.
Pregnant women deserve our best.
They deserve for us to be there for them and hold them up no matter what choices they make, especially when they are based on informed decision making. Birth is a natural physiological process that has been carried out since the beginning of time. It’s only been in the last hundred years that we’ve begun to lose support to birth without drugs.
Technology and medical interventions has saved the lives of mothers and babies, that’s the truth, it has, when it’s used in a responsible and needed way. Thousands of women end up with C-sections that weren’t done for medically indicated reasons, but for convenience of the care provider and sometimes the mother and they are left permanently scarred, physically and emotionally.
So when a women says to me that she wants to try to give birth without the use of medical interventions, unless medically indicated of course, I say go for it, and then I ask “who’s your doula?”. On the other hand, a woman does have the right to choose whether or not she wants to use pain medication, and given that she has received all of the current information regarding the risks vs. benefits of those drugs, that is her choice. The point is that we should stop wasting so much time judging one another. It’s my opinion that we all need to work more on lifting each other up instead of bringing one another down. That’s what words can do that are a little less encouraging, when they come from the mouths of the people who love us and care about us it is even more so. We can all share our experiences with one another that doesn’t cause emotional upsets to the one beside us. If we have had less than positive experiences, we can talk about and learn from it. But please, let’s not use it to discourage others from trying something that might be a little outside of what our views are. Women are powerful beings that have the courage and strength inside of us to bring our babies into the world.